Take 'n Bake!!!! And I helped! Not because I wanted to, but because I had to bake it myself

So, you would think if you went to a pizza place and ordered a pizza, you should be able to, you know, get a ready-to-eat pizza, right? Well, yesterday, I found out that this notion is apparently... wrong!

So, yesterday evening whilst spending the night in Wisconsin, Josh knocked on our hotel door after going out to pick up some dinner. I opened the door and found him with a sad face and a saran wrapped uncooked pizza. He had gone to a place called Papa Murphy's, a pizza place where they assemble a pizza for you, and then you are suppose to take it home to bake yourself. Josh, unfamiliar with the 'take-n-bake' philosophy, paid the $12 for the pizza up front, and once he received the raw product was embarrassed to return it. Also, there was another customer in the store who had engaged in conversation with Josh about staying at the 'Super 8,' which isn't known for their in-room ovens, and they guy didn't even mention that self baking of the pizzas was required.

I'm sure people who are familiar with the 'take-n-bake' phenomenon don't find it weird at all, and honestly, I can see it being a little fun. Sure, it's custom assembled, and you can bake it at home and claim you did it all by yourself. But I'm just like... c'mon, it's fast food! It should be completely made for you! You don't go to McDonald's to pick up bread buns and a frozen patty. There shouldn't be any effort put into fast food other than the eating part.

Anyway, after I laid eyes on this pizza with it's doughy crust and after we had a huge laugh, I was determined to find a way to make this meal work for Josh. We contemplated using the microwave for a hot second, but the pizza was too big to fit inside and, oh yeah, it's not an oven. I called down to the lobby in search of an oven in maybe a kitchen facility in the building. The front desk laughed at me. I even called Papa Murphy's posing as a prospective customer asking if I were to order something, was there an oven I could possibly use? Well, turns out that they do have ovens, but they don't cook pizzas in them.

After that, we gave up. And Josh called up another fast food chain, Pizza Hut, which delivered a cooked pizza, plus cinnamon bread sticks. I tired to make a calzone with the huge raw pizza by ripping a chunk it and rolling up all the toppings into a dough ball. I actually got the crust to harden, but the inside was nasty, so I threw it out.

Lesson learned: Whenever you go to a pizza place, before you order, ask if they cook it there for you.